it was the perfect crime

moshpits are like those epic war battles you see in movies. somehow you get stuck in the middle between those who just need to push and shove their way to what they want. and you end up not being able to breathe. i've been in plenty of them before but i haven't been that scared in a long time. no need for details.

on a positive note, i got all of this weeks work done and in on time, and i'm pretty proud about that because there were a few freak out moments, and days with about two hours of sleep. i'm going to take this week to recooperate and catch up on readings, and then comes the study blitz. i can't believe i've got 23 days left in T.O. until the summer.

vanessa, nahmi, and i are in buffalo until tomorrow afternoon. we came purely to see the decemberists, which was tonight. and it was amazing. colin meloy is my hero, and gorgeous at that (much shorter than i imagined however). if you ever get a chance, listen to "The Mariner's Revenge Song." It's about getting swallowed by a whale. And it was their encore tonight. Best part was, they had two people in a huuuge whale costume come out and "swallow" them. it was amazing. "It's got dark carpeting, I guess we have some time to kill..." this band is so incredibly unique. they combine prog rock with a twang and a twist. their songs are about outrageous crimes and instances. Meloy tried to have the audience close their eyes at one point and imagine what he was saying to a haunting drum beat. Somehow he came up with buying a monkey, contemplating it, and poking it in the stomach. .... i guess you had to be there.


big news: we got the duplex in greektown. it's a pretty rad place, and we're excited x 10. I've got the big bedroom in the basement with the walk in closet! siiick. it's about 20 mn away from school. i better get lots of visitors.


listen to "The Perfect Crime #2" by the Decemberists.

it's the same old drag and you know you don't need none of that.

going through days where it hurts to get to tomorrow even though the sun is shining high and bright but all you can do is sit inside and work. not seeing the end of it. can't handle it anymore. losing control. just dying to be in the sunshine that hasn't been seen in ages. and then a light is suddenly shown. even though i've learned not to really trust anybody, there's always that one person that comes along every once in a while and does something really nice. and yesterday/today i met one of those people in my atrocious visits to court to get a story. she's one of the police officers that holds the accused. i met her initially yestrday but today when i ran into the court room all frazzled, she passed me a note of everything that i missed. and that just made a huge impact on me since i've had such bad luck this week. after that, i got such a great story, and i feel like i've finally gotten something right. the sun is still out and it's impossible to stay in a bad mood. i've got to finish my last essay of the year and three articles basically by tomorrow. and i'm not even that worried. i'm seeing a huge concert tomorrow and the next day (friday coming home). i'm gaining confidence, slowly but surely. i'm accepting things and working with them. girls & i are checking out a fantastic sounding duplex tonight, and we have great hopes for it. eyeopener elections are next week. i have reasonable goals for the summer. soon i'll have a feeling of settlement.


listen to "Energy" and "Same Old Drag" by The Apples in Stereo. now. and you'll instantly be in a great mood.

mind flood

ok, so apparently this site won't work on my extremely slow res cable. so this entrys going to be a heck of a long one.

yesterday i went to burlington to meet up with my dad for dinner. it was a good time, but i really enjoyed the fact that it gave me a ton of time to just sit and listen to music. for the whole trip, i listened to Sam Roberts "We Were Born in a Flame" (which i'm listening to right now as well, because it's pure genious), The Shins' "Wincing the Night Away" (don't even get me started on this album), most of The Decemberists' "The Crane Wife" (friday! third row! yes!), The Arcade Fire's "Neon Bible" (the most amazing, haunting album) and most of Modest Mouse's "We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank" (sooo good. this coming from someone who did NOT like their last record.) I even got to flip through all the music magazines that have been collecting at home since the last time I left, courtesy of dad. I love it when music seems to team up with speed when you're travelling, it makes the journey so much more interesting. When people seem to walk to the beat. I can't get over how good the end of 06 beginning of 07 has been for music so far. So many good cds have been released and it's only march! If you get a chance, listen to these records. You won't be dissapointed. Also, does it drive you crazy when you're walking the streets and see everyone with headphones on, and you just want to know what they're listening to? edit :: I just downloaded the Apples in Stereo's new cd "New Magnetic Wonder" and i've listened to half of it so far and it's AMAZING. check it out.

When I got back from meeting up with my dad, I watched "The US vs. John Lennon" with Vanessa and her friend Inga. What a fantastic movie. Lennon was soo ridiculously interesting. It just makes you think... he was only fighting for peace. and if that's so hard, what in god's name could be next that would be even harder? The battle will never be won. He was so ahead of his time. I also liked the fact that they barely even touched the Beatles in this movie. It focused on what he was truely fighting for. I've been going through a Beatles phase lately though.

So I got my yearly stress cold this weekend, and it's given me time to do absolutely nothing in days and just relax. time to slow down. i'm feeling better, still sick, but i'm ready to tackle this week, which will be a killer. whatever though.. i'm accepting this stress factor, especially because i know in the years to come, it's just going to get worse. i'm ready for the challenge though. i'll be dedicated.

This weekend made me realize how much i need this summer not to just have fun with my friends, but to focus on myself. I'm going to go through my dad's records and learn the classics. I'm going to learn how to cook. I'm going to read a lot. I'm going to lose that weight i keep saying i'll lose. I am going to work on my writing. I'm going to get a job. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to be reunited with friends & the good times, but I really need this summer to improve myself. It will also be my last summer in Buffalo. (So strange.) PS -- it's a tragic summer of harry potter, hehe.

I've had some great conversations this weekend. One consisted of someone saying "you're feeling the pressure to please" and one consisted of agreeing on how confidence is so completely key in so many things. Two great lessons, and so true. They're huge weights at this point in my life, and I've got to stay on top of it.

One thing I'm going to miss like crazy from here is my view.

question: what's your favourite record of this year so far?

PS -- you MUST check out this movie trailer. it's AMAZING. and all beatles. i can't get over it!

http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/acrosstheuniverse/large.html

drifting patterns // introduction part two.

what a wonderful start to my first real entry. i just accidentally deleted the ACTUAL first real entry. oops. well hey, second drafts are good.


stress and caffeine have become my best friends. school has dominated me and left huge black circles under my eyes. so much to do for every class, essays, books, and stuff for the eyeopener as well. which i enjoy, and hope to keep doing. speaking of the eyeopener, saw jamie today and he asked if i was running for any eye position for next year. i wasn't planning on it, but after thinking about it all day, i'm considering running for assistant photo ...person. not exactly sure what it does just yet, but i think it would be pretty cool. i've been enjoying the eye lately, so i think it would be fun. and its a way to keep me going with photography. the only thing im not so keen on is the speech part. (eye people, if you're reading this... any advice?) hmmm.


today marks the one month mark until my last exam and going home. gah. i won't bore you with my nostalgia. but keep this in mind -- i only live two hours away from good ol TO. meaning i'll be up here like every other week.... soo... want me to crash at your place? awesomeee.


today also marked the 2 weeks since Kevin O'Donnell from Rolling Stone emailed saying he'd get back within 2 weeks about the internship. i didn't get an email. oh well... i guess there's always next year...


lately i feel like all creativity has been ripped from me. i haven't written any poems or anything lately. i haven't taken any sweet artsy photos. i partly blame this on ryerson for not letting me take creative writing/photography classes. the only other things i sort of consider myself good at. (namely because i'm not good at anything else // interested in anything else.) so i'm on a mission to find my creativity again. we'll see how this one goes..


i'm still reeling from The Shins show on saturday. love them. so much.




question: do you think it's worth it to worry about your future?
(I'm going to be doing questions at the end of each entry, so answer them, damnit!)


ps -- this blog basically sucked. i credit it to catching a cold. i promise the blogging will get better.

introduction, part one.

let's begin with saying i love starting new blogs. Since the beginning of high school, I've gone through two xangas, two livejournals, actual paper diaries, and others i probably wrote in once and then forgot about it. i don't know what it is, but it's exciting for me -- giving me an opportunity to start over, refresh my writing style, turn over a new leaf. maybe even convince a new audience i'm slightly interesting. (cough, cough). to me, "blog" sounds a lot different than "livejournal" ... meaning no more of my whiny bullshit in livejournal, the stuff i look back on and think 'why the hell did i say that?' or 'why didn't i just grow up?' blog means to me the intelligent, wity, creative, and tasteful place where students like me get to 'inform the public' about why we're so awesome. i figure why not, i'll give it a try.

with that being said, welcome to what i like to call my adult-ish blog. it's new, it's public, and i'll try to keep you interested. come one, come all to the crazy workings of jess! (you don't know what you're getting yourself into, really.)

i want actual readers! anybody can post comments, however, i must tell you, they are first monitored through me. i've got a new crowd of listeners, what with moving to a new country and going to a university and all. i'd be happy if you read/put in your two cents/ whatever.


tonight i'll post an actual entry. we'll see how my blogging skills go!