times, they are achangin'

i have some big plans. plans i've dreamed about for years, and now theyre finally coming into sight. i can see them. and god, it feels good. to feel like im doing something, taking initiative, growing up, getting some excitement in my life. it's about time. [more on this later.]

second year is kicking my ass. i have never been so busy with school over a few weeks. it's been pretty bad, i've witnessed (and had) a few breakdowns. not fun.

i'm tired. i know i've been promising updates [not like anybody cares] but i will elaborate later on. my plan for this blog is to:

a) keep up with it

b) decide between this and livejournal, a girl should not have two blogs

c) introduce new and fun things

d) increase readership

you can help me out with this plan, you know.

through the twists and the turns, your colours seem to mesh.

periscope

part two:

i am officially done first year of university. it's a feat i'm pretty proud of. but it's also something almost everyone else accomplishes. i can't wait until i do something not just anyone can do. i am home for the summer, and i'm already bored. my mom has begun diagnosing every single problem that i have starting from the moment she walked into the door. so if you're curious, she thinks that i have an allergy to gluten. and i'm pretty sure she's right, but i don't want to admit it. with a serious allergy like that, i can't eat any of the food i usually eat and love, and ... no beer! that will be okay though. byebyecheapdrinks though. so yeah. i'm home, i'm bored, i'm lonely, and i'm sad, the classic first summer of a university student. three and a half more months to go...

today i had the best car ride with my dad ever. i had made mixes for the way home, and he had one of his old tapes with him. we made up a system to switch after every song. A little bit of Klaxons, a little bit of the Talking Heads. Some of Broken Social Scene, some of the B-52's. From Beck to The Police and Deerhoof to some crazy band from Buffalo that once asked if my mom could play saxophone with them. I realized on this drive home where I've gotten my love for music from. My dad has an amazing collection and knows so much, while my mom's got hidden talents like saxophone. I also realized how proud I am of myself for being musical like this. I'm excited for my life to come, even if it will suffer a few bumps and bruises.

with that being said ... i have a question i want answered, truthfully...
in order to be a great writer, do you have to suffer for or from something first?

it's the same old drag and you know you don't need none of that.

going through days where it hurts to get to tomorrow even though the sun is shining high and bright but all you can do is sit inside and work. not seeing the end of it. can't handle it anymore. losing control. just dying to be in the sunshine that hasn't been seen in ages. and then a light is suddenly shown. even though i've learned not to really trust anybody, there's always that one person that comes along every once in a while and does something really nice. and yesterday/today i met one of those people in my atrocious visits to court to get a story. she's one of the police officers that holds the accused. i met her initially yestrday but today when i ran into the court room all frazzled, she passed me a note of everything that i missed. and that just made a huge impact on me since i've had such bad luck this week. after that, i got such a great story, and i feel like i've finally gotten something right. the sun is still out and it's impossible to stay in a bad mood. i've got to finish my last essay of the year and three articles basically by tomorrow. and i'm not even that worried. i'm seeing a huge concert tomorrow and the next day (friday coming home). i'm gaining confidence, slowly but surely. i'm accepting things and working with them. girls & i are checking out a fantastic sounding duplex tonight, and we have great hopes for it. eyeopener elections are next week. i have reasonable goals for the summer. soon i'll have a feeling of settlement.


listen to "Energy" and "Same Old Drag" by The Apples in Stereo. now. and you'll instantly be in a great mood.