times, they are achangin'

i have some big plans. plans i've dreamed about for years, and now theyre finally coming into sight. i can see them. and god, it feels good. to feel like im doing something, taking initiative, growing up, getting some excitement in my life. it's about time. [more on this later.]

second year is kicking my ass. i have never been so busy with school over a few weeks. it's been pretty bad, i've witnessed (and had) a few breakdowns. not fun.

i'm tired. i know i've been promising updates [not like anybody cares] but i will elaborate later on. my plan for this blog is to:

a) keep up with it

b) decide between this and livejournal, a girl should not have two blogs

c) introduce new and fun things

d) increase readership

you can help me out with this plan, you know.

through the twists and the turns, your colours seem to mesh.

inside+out

the two things that have been giving me a lot of anxiety over are done with.
1- we signed the lease for the duplex & deposited the money. it's now ours, we fought for it, eliminated the competition, and got the place that we cannot wait to live in. it was a damn race. i'm beyond excited. we have a lot of plans. i can't get over the fact of how lucky we got.
2- eyeopener elections are overwith. the pub night was fun, and i met a ton of really great people. i had one of my "happy to be a journalist" moments. and then i lost. so.... meh. obviously i need some time to myself to be a sore loser but all in all, laura's going to do a fantastic job and i'm really happy for her. now i just need to find a job for next year. will probably end up in something grossly retail. lovely. does anybody have any connections to music or photography stores?

the stuff might be overwith, but for some reason the anxiety is still there and it actually physically hurts. meh. 16 more days until i move out of here. it's crazy to think that this year is over, it's gone quicker than any year has ever gone for me. i've gained so many things this year though, amazing friends, tons of drunken excitement, life lessons, blahblahblah. i'm really grateful for this year, and even though i'm sad for it to be over, i'm glad for this chapter to be over, to get on to bigger and better things. i'm also quite sick of residence. *sigh*.

journalism's giving me a lot of heck lately. every day my opinion on it changes. which could be good or bad. good in the sense that i've got to find the right things to motivate me, bad in the sense that it creates doubt. one huge thing for me though was picking up this semesters Ryerson Review of Journalism. it's gorgeous and really interesting, which surprised me because i remembered picking up last years and wanting to gag. it made me really excited to stream into magazine (if i get it). people keep telling me i'm going all "hardcore journalism on their asses" or "being really brave" for running for an eye position, but i don't really believe them. i don't feel like i'm doing enough. funny, i'm set on this, but i can't catch up on my readings in time for exams. i'm determined and i cannot let my peers and teachers get me down about it. i haven't dreamt about anything like this for this long.

i'm craving new music, so i just downloaded like 20 new cds on DC++. oh how i'll miss it next year. i crave new music about twice a week and it drives me nuts. have you ever had those days (or weeks for me) where you just dont feel like listening to anything because nothing feels like it will work right to what's going on with you at that moment? thank god today broke that dry spell. i'm now listening to a Feist mix cd, and it's beautiful. i'm still angry nobody would go with me to her show next month.

i'm going to leave you with three youtube videos. this week i discovered the amazing-ness of youtube, and i was hooked. the first two videos are 15 seconds long and have no sound. the third is the encore from the decemberists show i mentioned in the previous post and you must watch it, it is AMAZING.

here's the Shins from St. Pattys Day -- its part of "Australia"


here's the Decemberists from last weekend -- it's the beginning of "The Island"


here's some person's video of the Decemberists encore "The Mariner's Revenge." amazing. watch out for the whale!

mind flood

ok, so apparently this site won't work on my extremely slow res cable. so this entrys going to be a heck of a long one.

yesterday i went to burlington to meet up with my dad for dinner. it was a good time, but i really enjoyed the fact that it gave me a ton of time to just sit and listen to music. for the whole trip, i listened to Sam Roberts "We Were Born in a Flame" (which i'm listening to right now as well, because it's pure genious), The Shins' "Wincing the Night Away" (don't even get me started on this album), most of The Decemberists' "The Crane Wife" (friday! third row! yes!), The Arcade Fire's "Neon Bible" (the most amazing, haunting album) and most of Modest Mouse's "We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank" (sooo good. this coming from someone who did NOT like their last record.) I even got to flip through all the music magazines that have been collecting at home since the last time I left, courtesy of dad. I love it when music seems to team up with speed when you're travelling, it makes the journey so much more interesting. When people seem to walk to the beat. I can't get over how good the end of 06 beginning of 07 has been for music so far. So many good cds have been released and it's only march! If you get a chance, listen to these records. You won't be dissapointed. Also, does it drive you crazy when you're walking the streets and see everyone with headphones on, and you just want to know what they're listening to? edit :: I just downloaded the Apples in Stereo's new cd "New Magnetic Wonder" and i've listened to half of it so far and it's AMAZING. check it out.

When I got back from meeting up with my dad, I watched "The US vs. John Lennon" with Vanessa and her friend Inga. What a fantastic movie. Lennon was soo ridiculously interesting. It just makes you think... he was only fighting for peace. and if that's so hard, what in god's name could be next that would be even harder? The battle will never be won. He was so ahead of his time. I also liked the fact that they barely even touched the Beatles in this movie. It focused on what he was truely fighting for. I've been going through a Beatles phase lately though.

So I got my yearly stress cold this weekend, and it's given me time to do absolutely nothing in days and just relax. time to slow down. i'm feeling better, still sick, but i'm ready to tackle this week, which will be a killer. whatever though.. i'm accepting this stress factor, especially because i know in the years to come, it's just going to get worse. i'm ready for the challenge though. i'll be dedicated.

This weekend made me realize how much i need this summer not to just have fun with my friends, but to focus on myself. I'm going to go through my dad's records and learn the classics. I'm going to learn how to cook. I'm going to read a lot. I'm going to lose that weight i keep saying i'll lose. I am going to work on my writing. I'm going to get a job. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to be reunited with friends & the good times, but I really need this summer to improve myself. It will also be my last summer in Buffalo. (So strange.) PS -- it's a tragic summer of harry potter, hehe.

I've had some great conversations this weekend. One consisted of someone saying "you're feeling the pressure to please" and one consisted of agreeing on how confidence is so completely key in so many things. Two great lessons, and so true. They're huge weights at this point in my life, and I've got to stay on top of it.

One thing I'm going to miss like crazy from here is my view.

question: what's your favourite record of this year so far?

PS -- you MUST check out this movie trailer. it's AMAZING. and all beatles. i can't get over it!

http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/acrosstheuniverse/large.html